fic; the sound of silence

[fbitchesgtmoney]

hello darkness, my old friend ; i’ve come to talk with you again
There are never many words shared between them when they meet like this. Words are spared for confrontations. For spitting insults at each other. Wit, and a silver tongue are things they both possess, though each have their specialty. But when they come together in the dark, there is always silence. Words surrendered to the blackness. With touch and taste to guide them, there was no need for anything else. They knew each other well in the dark, because in the dark the masks could be removed. In the dark and the silence the armour was stripped away, and their bodies and minds surrendered to lust, and to desire. To that which was easy, and needed no words. Because actions truly do speak louder than words, and theirs tell a tale no words could do justice.

when my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light ; that split the night
He glances at the empty space next to him in the bed. This is the way it always is.. He never expects anything more. This is how it has to be. If he stayed it would be too much. Words would be expected, and if uttered all would be ruined. But left alone in the dark his mind is surrendered to thoughts that try to consume him. They’re thoughts that no one will ever hear uttered, but are always on his mind. Thoughts of self worth, and of how broken he truly is, and above all thoughts of death. Death consumes his mind like no other. But he doesn’t fear death. He never has. Life is finite, and death inevitable. Why should the one thing that is a fixed point in his, and in everyone’s life be feared? It still stays on his mind, and in the silence with no distraction, there’s nothing to block it out.

fools, I said, you do not know ; silence like a cancer grows
He had had too many close encounters with death to fear it. He had, perhaps, when he was young. But through the years he had come to realise that fear truly was the only thing that should be feared in life. Fear was raw, uncontrollable emotion that could so easily cripple you, stripping you of all your armour leaving you with nothing for protection. And so he no longer feared anything, let alone death. Death would come for him when it was his time, but that time had obviously not come yet. He’d slipped past it on multiple occasions, but in his heart he knew that he hadn’t escaped death, as some had claimed, because death wasn’t something you could escape. Death would come for you, when death was ready, but it wasn’t for him yet. It had simply shown him a new purpose for his life, and every time the vision started to slip away, it would turn him back in the right direction. Eventually it would with Loki too, of that he was sure. Either he would be turned back to the path intended for him, or this would be his death in some way. He knew not to seek death out, however. Searching for death never yielded any answers. Death, it would seem, worked on its own time.

and the people bowed and prayed ; to the neon god they made
Morning breaks the darkness, and the silence, bringing back the armour he must don to face the day. He’s a hero. A role model. Someone who needs to be strong, to keep those around him safe. It’s his job to protect others, though that always brings the question, who is there to protect him? What will shield him? It’s the armour keeps him safe. It protects him from his thoughts. Because thoughts are the most dangerous of all, in the end. When left alone in silence, ones thoughts are all you have, and in his experience, thoughts always turn negative. And so above all else the armour protects him from the silence. After all, if there’s one thing he’s sure of in this world, it’s that his death will come shrouded in silence. And though he doesn’t fear death, he’s not yet ready to follow it quite yet. Death, after all, is an eternity of darkness and silence.


(ooc: this started out as angst and turned into even more angst than planned. 8| good bye. mine, any errors are my own. etc etc etc)

Comments

[abyssum_invocat]

OMG crying. Why so saaaaad, Tony? There are people to watch over you. <3

[fbitchesgtmoney]

:') He's not sad though. He's...content. Accepting of the way of the world. Or something, idek. But there will always be a time when he's left alone to his own devices, and his mind, so the thoughts will always find him, as will the silence.

Same mun, too lazy to change login.

[the_cupbearer]

I love the fic, though. It is pretty awesomely written, but oh god he breaks me. Tony needs to be loved on some time.

;D

[fbitchesgtmoney]

Thank you so much! :') I wasn't sure, but it poured out once I got started, so I went with it. He has love. Sometimes. He just doesn't want it romantically because it's just a burden. 8(

I'm lazy today.

[abyssum_invocat]

*smothers him with hugs* (And she would totally smother him, too. >>)

[beguilement]

8(

[fbitchesgtmoney]

[beguilement]

.................... :)
ehehehe

[fbitchesgtmoney]

8)

[speed_of_snark]

All the sad in the world.

[fbitchesgtmoney]

Pitching myself into the abyss.

[speed_of_snark]

Tony needs unicorns and a hug.

[fbitchesgtmoney]

Also all the baked goods in the world.

[pixiesized]

WELL THEN, THANKS FOR ALL THE FEELS. >:| But, no, really. ♥♥ and also I love that song.

[fbitchesgtmoney]

YOU'RE WELCOME. Tony/Loki is basically the biggest feelswhale ever. Ugh both so broken beyond repair. /throws self into Eyjafjallajokull.

Thank you :') Yes. Ugh I was listening to the Watchmen Soundtrack and was subsequently overcome with all the feels for both of them. So fitting tbh.

[pixiesized]

FFFFFFFFFF-- i have come to learn that all of my otps are kind of like the worst otps to have. especially in the marvel universe, 'cause like -- the pyms, peter/gwen. starting to wonder why, exactly, i'm attracted to such tragic and/or dysfunctional pairings. with other fandoms, there is an end but with marvel? NEVER ENDING. years of pain. literal decades of pain. wtf.

it is a good soundtrack tbh

[fbitchesgtmoney]

Because Marvel is a life ruiner, imo. Yeah. All my OTPs are doomed forever. this one has completely overtaken everything and my entire playlist for them is so ridiculous now that I just want to throw my mac out the window sometimes when I shuffle through it because ALL THE WORST SONGS COME IN A ROW. Le fu.

It is.

[pixiesized]

itunes does seem to have a tendency to do that from time to time. i think it likes to make us suffer tbh.

and negl i am picky when it comes to soundtracks. I DECLARE THAT WE ALL USE MY MUSICAL TASTES AS A GUIDELINE FOR WHAT MAKES A GOOD SOUNDTRACK. >:|